Awful things that happen to computers

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From - Tue Oct 12 05:49:17 1999
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From: Jeff Liebermann <jeffl@comix.santa-cruz.ca.us>
Newsgroups: comp.unix.sco.misc
Subject: Re: Maintaining a network
Date: Mon, 11 Oct 1999 16:20:38 -0700
Organization: Committee To Maintain an Independent Xenix
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On Mon, 11 Oct 1999 21:55:56 GMT, Tony Lawrence <tony@aplawrence.com>
wrote:

>The most amazing thing I ever saw was in a shop where they
>did metal grinding.  I went in to do an upgrade, and I
>needed to take the old drive out because they had no tapes. 
>The entire machine was coated inside and out with greasy oil
>and it HAD to have metal filings in it but the damn thing
>was still running- absolutely astonished me!
>Don't try this at home :-)

Bah, that's nothing.

1.  Local machine shop puts their NT workstation next to a centerless
grinder.  This beast grinds metal by literally vaporizing it into dust.
The dust condensed on the computer for about a year until all the plastic
had a noticeable aluminium glint.  I checked the conductivity with my
ohms guesser and it was fairly conductive in some places.  The first to
fail were all 3ea fans, followed by the power supply literally exploding.
Scraping the boards with a fiberglass brush, and replacing everything
else, fixed this one.

2.  Many of my customers have relatively clean offices.  However, they
plant the server on the floor, which immediately becomes a proxy vaccuum
cleaner, sucking up all the lint and dust from the carpet or floor.  I've
seen servers that look like the inside of a vaccuum cleaner dust bag.  
Don't plant the server on the floor.

3.  One customer had an art store where they used spray glue near the
computer.  The fans in the computer sucked the overspray into the
computer, where it glued the dust in place.  When I tried to hit the
computer with an air hose, none of the dust would move.  Scraping the
dust off didn't really help.  I replaced the moving parts affected
(floppy and fans) but left the machine as a permanently dusty monument or
work of art.

4.  I did a tape drive transplant on a Xenix box in a clean room (while
wearing a bunny suit for 4ea sweaty hours).  Next to the Xenix box was an
open vat of unpronounceable acid.  During the installation of the
production line, some acid had been vaporized and was sucked into the
Xenix box by the power supply fan.  Everything near the front of the
computer was fatally corroded or rusted.  The computer continued to
operate in this condition for about 9 months when someone finally became
worried and decided to fix the tape backup.  Much to my amazement, only
the floppy disk drive and tape drives were destroyed.  The Dell 386DX33
continued to operate without incident.

5.  I was asked to fix a laptop for an occassional customer.  When I
arrived, I found that the laptop plastic case had been partially melted
and that the keyboard showed signs of tomato paste.  Don't ask me how the
laptop ended up in the Tomato soup.  I replaced the plastic parts,
keyboard, and floppy drive, rinsed the laptop in de-ionized water, and it
worked again.  No clue what happened to the soup.

6.  I've seen computers and monitors that survived fires.  The machines
will usually work just fine, but the smell of incinerated building
material and plastic is usually too much.  I recently removed the outer
covers and plastic parts from a smoke damaged computer and had them
vapour blasted (similar to sand blasting) to remove the charred surface.
The insides were coated with soot, but there was no evidence of any
failures.  I cleaned the floppy and cdrom LED's, and everything works.

7.  I looked at a laser printer, where the toner cartridge had spewed its
guts all over the insides.  While most of the printer looked like the
inside of my woodburning stove, the fuser roller had melted the spilled
toner into a solid mass of plastic crud.  I gave up and scrapped it for
parts.

8.  I had the displeasure of attempting to repair the computer inside a
smog checker.  The automotive service shop had strategically placed the
computer so that it would receive the maximum amount of exhaust fumes
from the automobile under test.  I resisted the temptation to run the
computer though the solvent bath, and merely hit it with some soap, hosed
it with a garden hose (after removing the drives) and blew off the water
with an air hose.  It worked.

9.  I was recently asked to look at a laptop that had been used on a
sailboat and which had been sitting on the vessel in the harbour for
about 6 months.  The insides were solid green copper oxide.  I plugged it
in anyway and it began to smoke before the fuse went. Absolutely nothing
salvaged from the remains worked.

10. I found a very nice looking UPS in a dumpster.  It was heavy, but I
dragged it home, up 50 stairs, and onto my workbench.  When I plugged it
in, it seemed to work so I let it charge.  Several hours later, I was
cleaning up the acid spill that wrecked my workbench, some expensive toys
that were also on the bench, and started to eat through the floor.

11. Y2K will probably destroy more equipment preparing for Y2K than as a
result of Y2K related electrical failures.  One local business owner was
doing fine until he installed a cheapo gasoline generator.  Rather than
properly wire it into his building with a commercial transfer switch, he
built his own electrical extension cord system.  Unfortunately, he wired
it for 220VAC instead of 117VAC.  The score was half and half on
equipment that was protected when the fuse blew, and equipment that was
instantly destroyed.

12. Most networks use CAT5 cable which tends to run to a central wiring
closet.  I was trying to gain an extra few inches of cable from an
overhead CAT5 run by pulling on the cable.  The cable moved a few inches,
but so did the suspended ceiling, which decided that this would be a
great time to collapse on my head.  I didn't bill the customer for 4
hours of cleanup.  Beware of wiring death traps.

13. There are many books and articles on proper server security
proceedures.  None of them bother to mention that one should remember
where the key to the server box was last seen.  I've had to pick the lock
on more than one server box.

Network maintenance is an art, not a science.  Computer experience is
helpful, but not manditory.


-- 
Jeff Liebermann  150 Felker St #D  Santa Cruz CA 95060
(831)421-6491 pgr (831)426-1240 fax (831)336-2558 home
http://www.cruzio.com/~jeffl   WB6SSY
jeffl@comix.santa-cruz.ca.us   jeffl@cruzio.com

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